I have not emailed in some time. I can’t use the excuse of “chemo brain” to send incoherent messages, to you, my captive audience, in the wee hours of the morning any longer since chemo is done. But I thought it might be a good idea to send an update – just so you didn’t think I was dead or something because of the silence over the airways. (j complains that I am overly morbid sometimes).
So, you’ll be relieved to hear that I’m not dead. This email update would be quite the feat if I was dead! I’m still alive and kicking around and high fiving strangers on the street. That latter bit is going to get me in trouble soon (strangers apparently don’t like to be “high fived” randomly – it must be a Toronto thing – we do it all the time in Calgary). I had an appointment with my oncologist before he up and left for a three week holiday. My CT Scan did not come up completely clear so I am being sent for further investigations (I wasn’t exactly cheering when I heard this news).
This means that next Wednesday j and I will spend the day at the hospital and I will likely get stabbed with syringes and needles and the like. I have an ultrasound at the crack of dawn and then they will stick me inside a tube (otherwise known as an “MRI”) for 30 minutes or more. Not to worry, while I am mildly claustrophobic, I intend to take the sedative my oncologist prescribed and possibly some children’s Benadryl so that I will be calm/unconscious for the whole ordeal.
In other news, I would like to inform some of you who suggested that I start “blogging” that I am trying to get one of those up and running so stay tuned. I’m still trying to wrap my poor brain around how one of these “blog” things work – apparently it requires that you be witty and funny and somehow technologically savvy. I’ll leave it to you to decide which of these things I’m not.
I heard an interview with Judy Blume on the CBC recently where she talked about being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 (yes, THE Judy Blume of, “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret?” and, of course, “Superfudge” fame). She mentioned to the interviewer that she decided to go public with her diagnosis because she didn’t want the story to be “hijacked” so to speak – with the media talking about how she was “battling cancer” and words like that. You should check out her blog where she talks about finding out about her diagnosis. I found it very englightening.
As she told the interviewer, you don’t “battle” cancer – it’s not a “battle” because it’s not really something you can “win”. You basically just keep calm, stay steadfast, let the entire ordeal wash over you, and carry on. To me it seems more like a mutiny; when cells in your body decide to rise up and take over. There is no control through any of this as I have, unfortunately, had to learn first hand.
But we carry on.
I hope that all of you have had an excellent summer. May you all be in good health and spirits.
Till next time,
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